Welcome back to Karen’s Corner! Join me here each month to catch up with what I’ve been up to both in and out of work. Can’t wait until next time? Connect with me on Instagram www.instagram.com/karen.anderson.fossoway
Karen xx
BUT WHAT’S THE TRUE COST & MAYBE MUM WAS RIGHT
It’s always been very easy for me to think of the potential gains and benefits to any decision I’m motivated to make but the ‘costs’ aren’t nearly as fun to consider. I’m sure I’m not alone in finding the evaluation of the downsides, at times uncomfortable, and well, just a little boring in comparison to the excitement of possible advantages.
More and more however, I’m finding myself asking the question “but what is the true cost?” … of making a new purchase, of starting a new project, or doubling down on an existing one, of taking time off, or working too much, of changing direction, or standing still.
It’s no secret that every purchase we make, project we start or commitment we make carries hidden costs … time spent maintaining or using it, resources extracted from the earth, energy diverted from more meaningful pursuits and/or harm done to others in it’s production or use. A cheap, mass-produced item delivered next day with only one click on your phone might save time and money upfront, but it could cost the planet in pollution, your time in repairs, the freedoms of the individuals involved in producing the item, and your integrity in supporting organisations aligned with highly dangerous political regimes.
It’s a minefield and once you go down the rabbit hole of trying to be wholly ethical, you soon realise it’s impossible to do so while still engaged in the modern world. So what do we do then? For me, it’s about getting informed and doing what I can, when I can. Making the best decisions I can to ensure doing the least harm possible is the goal but I have to remind myself that this is not a case of reaching perfection but rather a lifetimes’ pursuit and bit by bit, I’ll do better and better.
I remember very clearly reading the famous Walt Disney quote “If you can dream it, you can do it” when I was a child and completely buying into the vision and belief. I had lofty dreams growing up, a few of which I’ve been lucky enough to turn into a reality as an adult, but what is also true of striving for ambitious goals, is that there is inevitably a price. For me, the price involved going too far down roads I didn’t want to be on because I was too fixated on achieving the end goal and not paying enough attention to the journey. I’m conscious now, not to do that again and to be better at assessing both the up and down sides of the projects I take on.
I used to be so frazzled all the time; perpetually tired, running from one thing to the next, always feeling like I was doing nothing very well, never able to keep one top of the house or washing, living a cycle of bursts of energy and motivation followed by a plateaux then an almighty crash and recovery. But oddly, despite the chaos, I enjoyed being praised for my productivity and general ability to get lots of things done. Busy-ness was a huge part of my identity so when my Mum would tell me on the regular that I needed to “find balance” in my life, I really couldn’t imagine how that was in any way possible and that my pattern of unrelenting drive then burnout was, though extreme, balanced in a way.
The last few years have been about making big changes and difficult decisions, taking time to recover and rebalance and to build a life I truly love. I had in my head that I should return to a busier life again this year but, although I have a big list of things I still want to create and achieve, I realise giving up my slower-paced life where I have the time to take long walks daily, read and learn about the topics that excite me, have tea and biscuits with my kids when they come in from school, keep our home tidy and organised, jump in the car or on the plane to go visit John in whatever county or country he’s in and visit somewhere new, would be too large a cost.
Myself, Mum and Dad took ourselves up to Gleneagles at the start of the month which we do every now and again. We get dressed up and sit at the same table each time in the American Bar and put the world to rights over a few (ridiculously expensive) drinks. We had a lovely time as always but I was extremely sick when I got home which was far from ideal. As I've gotten older, I've become aware that alcohol has agreed with me less and less and as a result of this night, I've yet to have another drink. I can't imagine I'll never drink alcohol again but 4 weeks in, I don't miss it or crave it one bit ... perhaps this is a new sober era for me.
The following week, I took a trip to London to see John's last night with this year's Transatlantic Sessions at Royal Festival Hall. It was a flying visit but I met Mum and Dad down there and we had some food with spectacular views over the Thames before the show which was really lovely. The following morning, after breakfast, John and I took a walk over the bridge and up to Covent Garden to get a hit of that wee bit of London we love. John's now away on tour with Mike (McGouldrick) and John (Doyle) - they're really wonderful so catch them if you can all around the UK before they head off to Denmark and Ireland - but last week I went and met John in Beverley, where they were playing, and had a lovely wee wander around the town. It's a gorgeous wee place with a bustling community and town centre with great shops, cafes and restaurants and an enormous big minster. We then drove to Manchester and went to see the new Bridget Jones movie. Neither of us had read any reviews or knew the premise of the story so were knocked sideways with how emotional this installment was .... a really beautiful movie with all the usual funnies as well so well worth going to see if you haven't already.
The kids and I also had a lovely night with my two best friends from school and their families through in Edinburgh and it was a real joy to sit and have a proper girly catch up while the kids all played and got up to nonsense. These are the things in life that, I want to have space and time for.
I think, perhaps, I had it in my head that these quieter few years were required for recovery and renewal after my separation but that once I’d regained baseline normal I’d be in a position to push again. I could, of course, do that now - I feel strong and energised - but my hesitation to do so is because I’ve grown to love my slower-paced life and value the space and time and freedom it allows me. Perhaps the Disney quote isn’t the one for me to follow at this point in my life and possibly David Allen put it better, “you can do anything, but not everything” … choices have to be made and maybe Mum was right, balance has to be found.
All that to say … the projects I’m currently working on for Fossoway Stables are ones that we’ve been very intentional about. We’re planning the re-opening of the Potting Shed (Spring - date TBC), running our first Easter Camp (7th - 11th April), the launch of our brand new podcast (this is something I’ve been working on for a wee while now and this is the very first mention of this project! I’m excited to share more details with you really soon!), and Acorn 25 (a celebration of 25 years of our family charity, The Acorn Charitable Trust). So life is full and exciting but in no way busy or hurried which, for me, is the perfect balance.
True value lies not just in affordability but in sustainability, longevity and alignment with your values and what truly enriches your life. When we're considering the true cost of something, therefore, it’s essential we look beyond it’s price tag and think about its impact on time, ethics, nature and creativity.
Until next month …
K xx
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